Tik Tok...Ummm...

I mean I just don’t get it…

They aren’t funny…they aren’t interesting…and some of them are just downright stupid. Who the Hell thinks it’s a good idea to take a video of themselves licking a GODDAMN TOILET SEAT…Or the guy who started the challenge of licking things in grocery stores because “COVID-19 is a Hoax”; but even pre-pandemic why is that something that somebody would want to do? Perhaps my FAVORITE challenge that I stumbled upon (in a DailyMail article, because I wouldn’t create a Tik Tok account if someone paid me), is the “Pee Your Pants Challenge”.

Yes…

The challenge is as follows: stand in front of a mirror with a camera and piss your pants. Uhhh…can somebody please explain?

But that’s fine…whatever. If people want to waste their time in quarantine by scrolling through these videos of dumb strangers doing even dumber things, or even if they want to spend that time making the videos…more power to them! The issue that I have with this platform isn’t necessarily with the low-quality videos, but the reality that people are making A LOT of money for the creation of trash and unoriginal content.

Now don’t get me wrong…there are quite a few comedians and artists and other content creators on Tik Tok that are also making money and they deserve it. Their content has value and originality. However, the vast majority of the top 50 Tik Tokkers are making anywhere from $9,000 to $55,000. “Per year?”, you ask.

To which I respond, “No…Per MFing post”.

And I did my research on these people and the top Tik Tokkers make videos performing popular challenges (that they didn’t create), and they film themselves lip-syncing to songs. With videos like these that are SO FRIGGIN EASY to produce, they are making about 100k per week. And that is the low estimate – I used the calculator on InfluencerMarketingHub.com because it seems the most legitimate, but some of the other calculators were estimating 5x that amount. And don’t even get me started on the exponential growth possibilities for these earnings estimates.

Why are they getting paid that much!? Tik Tok has an algorithm and it’s all about followers and follower engagement, but what I’m having trouble fathoming is why people enjoy watching these videos in the first place. I can’t speak for everybody, but I do not find it entertaining or awe-inspiring when strangers poorly execute a dance or lip-sync to a song they didn’t write.

There are so many better ways to spend time in quarantine: Read a book, write a book, learn a language, paint, exercise…or how about just do something that increases your brain power, as opposed to chipping away at it. I know for me, my 2020 goals have not changed, regardless of this pandemic and in fact…now more than ever I’ve been able to find the time to accomplish them.

But after doing this research and seeing the numbers…I’ve decided on a major career change!

I am going to quit my job and piss my pants for a living. Because that’s what people consider to be good content these days…

Here is a List of the Top 20 how much they make per post (estimate):

* Tik Tok (#4) /Flighthouse (#15) were excluded because they are businesses*

And before you angrily write me an email (if you are a Tik Tok Fanatic), I will acknowledge that some of the videos on that platform are genuinely original and funny…HOWEVER!! ALL OF THE GEMS GET FILTERED OUT TO SUPERIOR ACCOUNTS AND PLATFORMS SO THERE IS NO NEED TO SCROLL THROUGH THE OTHER 99% OF VIDEOS I WOULD LABEL AS TRASH.

I hope I got some laughs out of this one! And there will be many more to come because this is the first post in my “Cultural Critiques” Category, in which I will write about things I have a problem with in society today…and trust me,

I have a lot of problems.

Thanks for reading!

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Nathaniel Schilpp